Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter: The Cliff Notes

Curious about Seth Grahame-Smith’s Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, but lack the time or inclination to read the book yourself?  Check out its entry in Wikipedia. (HUGE spoiler alert!)

(Hat tip to Joe Schweninger)

Wrong war, wrong time, right deal?

ebay

Check this out:

Salutation in Citrus

It’s common enough to see flowers and flags on the graves of Civil War soldiers.  But fruit?

stonewall-jackson-lemons
Photo courtesy of Susannah Ural

Jon Stewart on Virginia’s Confederate History Month

“It would be hypocritical of me to complain about Virginia’s Confederate holiday, when our part of the country, the North, is announcing ‘Union victory’–or United States Victory Appreciation Month–celebrating our rich heritage of kicking the Confederacy’s ass.”

The Forgotten Civil War: East vs West

Important Things with Demetri Martin explores a poorly understood aspect of America’s greatest struggle.

(Hat tip to David Woodbury at of Battlefields and Bibliophiles)

Lincoln Fought Vampires? Preposterous. Zombies, on the Other Hand…

It would seem unlikely that our sixteenth president could have a led a secret second life in which he fought vampires.  Vampires don’t exist.

Zombies may be another matter.  And let’s face it, both Confederate president Jefferson Davis and vice president Alexander H. Stephens resembled zombies in appearance.

As to the evidence base for zombies, consider this interview on the web site of the respected Archaeological Institute of America, which among other things postulates that the mysterious Easter Island statues memorialize a prehistoric zombie outbreak:

Archaeology of the Undead
Zombie expert Max Brooks explains humanity’s oldest struggle

(Hat tip to Joe Schweninger)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Once upon a time, one wag ventured that as Abraham Lincoln, medical advice, and pet care were three sure selling concepts, one could not go wrong writing a book on Lincoln’s doctor’s dog.  But times have changed.  We like animated cartoons and movies … Lincoln and Garfield would put a new spin on the scant relationship enjoyed by the sixteenth president and the cat-turned-officer-turned-congressman who couldn’t wait to tattle on William S. Rosecrans.  And, of course, there’s reality TV … Life with the Lincolns comes to mind as a possible title (next to Housewives of Washington, which could be the name of a featured exhibit at the entrance to the presidential wing at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum that explores Mary Lincoln’s own “team of rivals”).  Perhaps we can have Harry Potter Saves the Union or a remake of Avatar in which blue skins are exchanged for bluecoats.

However, no one aware of popular culture can deny the resurgent interest in vampires, notably through the Twilight series.  I’ve seen t-shirts, action figures, dozens of books and guides, even fast food giveaways, all connected to this obsession.  Thus, it is only logical that someone would put together two very marketable concepts and come up with …  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

The Really Big Game: Presidents Versus Super Bowls

Next month Super Bowl XLIV will be played.  One of the bloggers here roots for the Philadelphia Eagles, while another has seen his New York Giants win three Super Bowls … at which point that other blogger decides it might have been better to take up the Pittsburgh Steelers by themselves, instead of rooting for both Pennsylvania-based NFL teams.  Too late.  I’ll say nothing about the third blogger, who roots for a team based in Washington with a rather tasteless nickname.  I think they should be called the Lobbyists.

This year, Super Bowl XLIV will take place while the 44th president is in office.  Coincidence?  Of course.  But it’s a heck of a good excuse for the following blog, which decides which would prevail in a head-to-head matchup: the president or the game.

As a boy, I rooted for both the Jets and the Giants, and I recall Super Bowl III rather well (it’s far more difficult nowadays to root for both New York teams in any sport, although that was not an impossible feat before the New York Islanders began to challenge the New York Rangers in the NHL … but I digress).  One of the hallmarks of rooting for the Jets was hating the Raiders.  So I’m glad to report that Ulysses S. Grant prevailed over Super Bowl XVIII, in which the Raiders destroyed Washington.  Had it been Mosby’s raiders, instead of Al Davis’s Raiders, Grant might have had a tougher time of it.  But the true clash of titans involves Super Bowl XVI versus Abraham Lincoln: you’ll have to read the blog (and use the archives link on its right margin) to learn the outcome of that matchup.  Finally, the Giants’ 20-19 victory in Super Bowl XXV over the Buffalo Bills prevails over the last Civil War veteran elected president, William McKinley, who was, ironically, shot in Buffalo.  Scott Norwood was not quite as accurate.

Reflect on This

(Hat tip to Bill Roberts)

thirtysomething comes to DVD

thirtysomething first aired on ABC the year that I began teaching at Wofford College … and I had just turned thirty.  Over the next four years, viewers watched the ups and downs of a group of yuppies as they struggled with their own yuppie lives in the Philadelphia area.  The characters were sometimes wonderfully self-involved, and some of them reminded me of people I knew (many of whom also went to college outside of the Philadelphia area).  That meant that for me, there was both drama and (unintended) comedy in the episodes.

That said, the following episode, presented on You Tube in five parts, strikes closer to home precisely because it exposes one of the most curious parts of the academic life … the tenure process.  Now, my tenure process at ASU was rather easy, in truth … although some faculty were uneasy that I went up for tenure just three years after I got my PhD (although it was my sixth year of college teaching).  But there was a great deal in the episode that reminded me of Wofford, which was in many ways a very interesting place (I could write a mean academic novel on the order of David Lodge’s fiction drawn from my Wofford experience).  There are many ways to view the episode, including noting the way in which the hapless assistant professor, Gary Shepherd, viewed himself (he had a far better department chair than I had at Wofford).

So, in order, here’s part onetwothreefourfive.  Deconstruct at will.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering … what does this has to do with the Civil War?  Simple.  The episode mentions George A. Custer; and at the very time he was working on this show, Ed Zwick was also shooting Glory.

My experience at Wofford was an odd mixture of this episode and Dead Poets Society.  Unlike Gary, I chose not to stay at Wofford (years before I would have come up for tenure): twenty years ago I was looking for a new position, safe in the knowledge that my dissertation was complete and that my degree would be forthcoming.  The PhD would be my ticket out, although it helped that Let Us Have Peace was at a university press for review before I defended it that December.  The following February I accepted ASU’s offer.  What touched me most about that time was that my students were unhappy that I was going.  By then it was no secret that I was dismayed with how things had turned out at Wofford, and I was happy to be moving on.  Later that spring, I brought Emory Thomas to campus to speak about Robert E. Lee (we had hosted Drew Faust the previous year).  As my department chair got up to introduce me (I would then introduce Emory), I noticed he had a funny, vaguely disgusted, vaguely embarrassed look on his face.  It was not until I came to the front of the room that I understood why.  As I placed my notes on the podium and looked out at the students, I noticed that several of them were wearing ASU hats and shirts.

I liked that.  And to this day, it’s an interesting fact that I’ve got my share of old Wofford students on my Facebook account.  They were the ones who made life in Spartanburg a rewarding experience.

Can the cover of GQ be far away?

“History Buff”? Looks more like SHAF’s president is beginning a new career as America’s Top Model! From the October 2009 Civil War Times Illustrated:

I can see the next two campaigns now:
“The Cornfield is hot, but Tom stays cool . . . in his Ray Bans”
“The battle may have been fought in 1862, but Tom is never out of time with his Roxio.”

I understand that in an attempt to appeal to a different demographic, he will then be doing a series of ads with Brittany Spears for Diet Pepsi. . . .

Seriously, Tom, this is very cool. Congratulations and good luck with this project.

“One of the great figures of the American Civil War”?

Maybe not, but this is still pretty cool. From the 16 July edition of Martinsburg, WV’s The Journal:

HAGERSTOWN – Bobblehead collectors and sports fans have something to look forward to this weekend. The Hagerstown-Washington County Convention and Visitors Bureau will present General Abner Doubleday bobbleheads to the first 1,000 fans arriving at the Hagerstown Suns’ 7:05 p.m. game against the Asheville Tourists on Saturday. Gates will open at Municipal Stadium at 6:05 p.m., and the Suns advise fans to arrive early, as the supply of bobbleheads is not expected to last long.

The bobblehead commemorates Doubleday’s legacy as a key figure in the military history of Washington County, as well as his mythic role in the origins of the game of baseball. “The Convention and Visitors Bureau is very proud to be the financial sponsor of this bobblehead giveaway,” said Bureau President and CEO Tom Riford. “Abner Doubleday and the modernization of baseball are forever linked, just as General Doubleday’s Civil War leadership in Hagerstown and Washington County should always be celebrated.”

Doubleday is the fourth figure to be honored by the Convention and Visitors Bureau with a bobblehead giveaway at Municipal Stadium, joining Gen. George Washington, author Nora Roberts and Maryland Symphony Orchestra music director Elizabeth Schulze.

Jim Gates, Librarian at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y. – where Doubleday Field plays host to the annual Hall of Fame Game each summer – confirmed that the Suns were the first team of which he was aware to present a bobblehead honoring Doubleday’s significance as a military figure. “Baseball wasn’t invented anywhere – it has evolved over time into the game we have today,” Gates said. “Doubleday should be honored for his legacy as a general, and as one of the great figures of the American Civil War.”

The full story is here.

(Hat tip to Terry Beckenbaugh.)

New Use for an Old Battlefield

Hey, they used to have one at the Crater.

Big News From Gettysburg

The conflict over commercialism and historic preservation and restoration at Gettysburg reached new heights this past week when it was discovered that the old Visitor’s Center may have been built atop the ruins of the legendary shoe factory, whose existence has been oft-disputed. As workmen smashed apart the buildings that once housed the museum’s collections and the fabled Electric Map, they found evidence of piles of shoes, which upon inspection were determined not to be property of generations of Gettysburg guides or confused schoolchildren. “This discovery will bring new attention to the Ziegler’s Grove area,” park superintendent John Latschar announced. “It vindicates my decision to rip apart the new to uncover the old.”

Yet at the same time, Latschar declared that in light of a recent court ruling that stayed the NPS’s efforts to demolish the old Cyclorama building (which had also once served as park headquarters), he was ready to implement a new plan that utilized the structure in new and innovative ways. Christened “The Schimmelfenning Center,” the building will house several fast foot restaurants featuring funnel cakes and fudge, a sit-down BBQ place called “The General’s Pig Sty,” and souvenir shops that will sell the latest in Civil War t-shirts and baseball caps bearing the likeness of Joshua Chamberlain and Nathan Bedford Forrest. “We know Forrest didn’t fight here,” park spokesperson Katie Lawhon remarked, “but there seems to be money in selling his likeness to a certain clientele, and money is money. Just ask anyone who sells Chamberlain stuff.” Plans call for the installation of a James Longstreet rest station, the construction of a coin-operated monument to Daniel Sickles, and the G. K. Warren “observation point,” which Latschar was careful not to call a tower. To quiet controversy that accompanied recent developments in the park, the NPS will open a really big bookstore, consisting of four shelves of NPS publications and two dozen computer terminals hardwired to amazon.com.

Best of all, the restored center will place the Electric Map in the space that formerly housed the famed Cyclorama, with a new sound system, skyboxes, and an entrance fee of $10. “This allows us to reduce our entrance fee to the Cyclorama and the new Visitor’s Center to $5,” Latscher noted, adding that “given the demand to keep the Electric Map going, we thought we might as well give people what they want, and I’m sure they will be willing to pay the price to keep those memories alive.” No word yet on whether Charlie Weaver will be brought back to life to offer a prologue: a plaque in a dark corner will remind visitors that George G. Meade, not Grant or Chamberlain, commanded the Army of the Potomac. “We’ve worked to balance historical accuracy with popular appeal,” Lawhon observed, adding, “I think we’ve done a pretty good job of it.”

Local businessmen wasted no time in voicing their displeasure. “This is another attempt by the NPS to impoverish us,” one muttered, although he grew silent when someone asked why there were parking meters all over the place if free parking was so important. “How dare they trivialize the heroes of the past!” declared a frequent patron of General Pickett’s Buffet. Others grumbled that without the sales of t-shirts, candles, toy soldiers, and various pieces of Chamberlainia and Lost Cause mania items, they would lose what one called “the eternal struggle at Gettysburg, between town, gown, park, and developers.” Finally, a local reporter sighed that perhaps he would have to expand his list of sources beyond the index card of names and addresses that had served him so long and so well, entitled “The Usual Suspects.”

Latschar could hardly conceal a smile when he learned of these complaints. “The lesson of Gettysburg was that to win, you had to find good ground, then hold it,” he said. “And that’s just what we’ve done.”

:) … It is April 1.

Erin Go Braaaaap!

Stuck for a gift idea on Saint Patrick’s Day? Buy that lazy but lovable booze hound in your life a copy of Susannah Ural Bruce:  The Harp and the Eagle: Irish-American Volunteers in the Union Army, 1861-1865. It’s about Irish-American volunteers in the Union army who go around getting pissed, brawling among themselves, and bashing Johnny Reb, all while drinking Harp and Eagle beer.