Civil Warriors

You think John Bell Hood was bad at Franklin?

Inside the Battle of Hoth
By Spencer Ackerman

How did the Galactic Empire ever cement its hold on the Star Wars Universe? The war machine built by Emperor Palpatine and run by Darth Vader is a spectacularly bad fighting force, as evidenced by all of the pieces of Death Star littering space. But of all the Empire’s failures, none is a more spectacular military fiasco than the Battle of Hoth at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back.

From a military perspective, Hoth should have been a total debacle for the Rebel Alliance. Overconfident that they can evade Imperial surveillance, they hole up on unforgiving frigid terrain at the far end of the cosmos. Huddled into the lone Echo Base are all their major players: politically crucial Princess Leia; ace pilot Han Solo; and their game-changer, Luke Skywalker, who isn’t even a Jedi yet.

The defenses the Alliance constructed on Hoth could not be more favorable to Vader if the villain constructed them himself. The single Rebel base (!) is defended by a few artillery pieces on its north slope, protecting its main power generator. An ion cannon is its main anti-aircraft/spacecraft defense. Its outermost perimeter defense is an energy shield that can deflect Imperial laser bombardment. But the shield has two huge flaws: It can’t stop an Imperial landing force from entering the atmosphere, and it can only open in a discrete place for a limited time so the Rebels’ Ion Cannon can protect an evacuation. In essence, the Rebels built a shield that can’t keep an invader out and complicates their own escape.

The entire story can be found here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARXfQzfl9EQ

Here is something for those interested in what is going on here and here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeS4tVFbNNk&feature=related

Of course, the fact that I am aware of what is going on is a pretty sad commentary on me.

“Saying slavery was the cause of secession isn’t politically correct. It’s correct correct.”

“No one’s saying that you invented slavery, but you hung on to it like a motherf—-r.”

Shipyard Brewing Company web site
Dixie Brewing Company Wikipedia entry (Dixie appears not to have its own web site)

Curious about Seth Grahame-Smith’s Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, but lack the time or inclination to read the book yourself?  Check out its entry in Wikipedia. (HUGE spoiler alert!)

(Hat tip to Joe Schweninger)

Check this out:

It’s common enough to see flowers and flags on the graves of Civil War soldiers.  But fruit?

Photo courtesy of Susannah Ural

“It would be hypocritical of me to complain about Virginia’s Confederate holiday, when our part of the country, the North, is announcing ‘Union victory’–or United States Victory Appreciation Month–celebrating our rich heritage of kicking the Confederacy’s ass.”

Important Things with Demetri Martin explores a poorly understood aspect of America’s greatest struggle.

(Hat tip to David Woodbury at of Battlefields and Bibliophiles)

It would seem unlikely that our sixteenth president could have a led a secret second life in which he fought vampires.  Vampires don’t exist.

Zombies may be another matter.  And let’s face it, both Confederate president Jefferson Davis and vice president Alexander H. Stephens resembled zombies in appearance.

As to the evidence base for zombies, consider this interview on the web site of the respected Archaeological Institute of America, which among other things postulates that the mysterious Easter Island statues memorialize a prehistoric zombie outbreak:

Archaeology of the Undead
Zombie expert Max Brooks explains humanity’s oldest struggle

(Hat tip to Joe Schweninger)

Once upon a time, one wag ventured that as Abraham Lincoln, medical advice, and pet care were three sure selling concepts, one could not go wrong writing a book on Lincoln’s doctor’s dog.  But times have changed.  We like animated cartoons and movies … Lincoln and Garfield would put a new spin on the scant relationship enjoyed by the sixteenth president and the cat-turned-officer-turned-congressman who couldn’t wait to tattle on William S. Rosecrans.  And, of course, there’s reality TV … Life with the Lincolns comes to mind as a possible title (next to Housewives of Washington, which could be the name of a featured exhibit at the entrance to the presidential wing at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum that explores Mary Lincoln’s own “team of rivals”).  Perhaps we can have Harry Potter Saves the Union or a remake of Avatar in which blue skins are exchanged for bluecoats.

However, no one aware of popular culture can deny the resurgent interest in vampires, notably through the Twilight series.  I’ve seen t-shirts, action figures, dozens of books and guides, even fast food giveaways, all connected to this obsession.  Thus, it is only logical that someone would put together two very marketable concepts and come up with …  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Next month Super Bowl XLIV will be played.  One of the bloggers here roots for the Philadelphia Eagles, while another has seen his New York Giants win three Super Bowls … at which point that other blogger decides it might have been better to take up the Pittsburgh Steelers by themselves, instead of rooting for both Pennsylvania-based NFL teams.  Too late.  I’ll say nothing about the third blogger, who roots for a team based in Washington with a rather tasteless nickname.  I think they should be called the Lobbyists.

This year, Super Bowl XLIV will take place while the 44th president is in office.  Coincidence?  Of course.  But it’s a heck of a good excuse for the following blog, which decides which would prevail in a head-to-head matchup: the president or the game.

As a boy, I rooted for both the Jets and the Giants, and I recall Super Bowl III rather well (it’s far more difficult nowadays to root for both New York teams in any sport, although that was not an impossible feat before the New York Islanders began to challenge the New York Rangers in the NHL … but I digress).  One of the hallmarks of rooting for the Jets was hating the Raiders.  So I’m glad to report that Ulysses S. Grant prevailed over Super Bowl XVIII, in which the Raiders destroyed Washington.  Had it been Mosby’s raiders, instead of Al Davis’s Raiders, Grant might have had a tougher time of it.  But the true clash of titans involves Super Bowl XVI versus Abraham Lincoln: you’ll have to read the blog (and use the archives link on its right margin) to learn the outcome of that matchup.  Finally, the Giants’ 20-19 victory in Super Bowl XXV over the Buffalo Bills prevails over the last Civil War veteran elected president, William McKinley, who was, ironically, shot in Buffalo.  Scott Norwood was not quite as accurate.

(Hat tip to Bill Roberts)

thirtysomething first aired on ABC the year that I began teaching at Wofford College … and I had just turned thirty.  Over the next four years, viewers watched the ups and downs of a group of yuppies as they struggled with their own yuppie lives in the Philadelphia area.  The characters were sometimes wonderfully self-involved, and some of them reminded me of people I knew (many of whom also went to college outside of the Philadelphia area).  That meant that for me, there was both drama and (unintended) comedy in the episodes.

That said, the following episode, presented on You Tube in five parts, strikes closer to home precisely because it exposes one of the most curious parts of the academic life … the tenure process.  Now, my tenure process at ASU was rather easy, in truth … although some faculty were uneasy that I went up for tenure just three years after I got my PhD (although it was my sixth year of college teaching).  But there was a great deal in the episode that reminded me of Wofford, which was in many ways a very interesting place (I could write a mean academic novel on the order of David Lodge’s fiction drawn from my Wofford experience).  There are many ways to view the episode, including noting the way in which the hapless assistant professor, Gary Shepherd, viewed himself (he had a far better department chair than I had at Wofford).

So, in order, here’s part one … two … three … four … five.  Deconstruct at will.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering … what does this has to do with the Civil War?  Simple.  The episode mentions George A. Custer; and at the very time he was working on this show, Ed Zwick was also shooting Glory.

My experience at Wofford was an odd mixture of this episode and Dead Poets Society.  Unlike Gary, I chose not to stay at Wofford (years before I would have come up for tenure): twenty years ago I was looking for a new position, safe in the knowledge that my dissertation was complete and that my degree would be forthcoming.  The PhD would be my ticket out, although it helped that Let Us Have Peace was at a university press for review before I defended it that December.  The following February I accepted ASU’s offer.  What touched me most about that time was that my students were unhappy that I was going.  By then it was no secret that I was dismayed with how things had turned out at Wofford, and I was happy to be moving on.  Later that spring, I brought Emory Thomas to campus to speak about Robert E. Lee (we had hosted Drew Faust the previous year).  As my department chair got up to introduce me (I would then introduce Emory), I noticed he had a funny, vaguely disgusted, vaguely embarrassed look on his face.  It was not until I came to the front of the room that I understood why.  As I placed my notes on the podium and looked out at the students, I noticed that several of them were wearing ASU hats and shirts.

I liked that.  And to this day, it’s an interesting fact that I’ve got my share of old Wofford students on my Facebook account.  They were the ones who made life in Spartanburg a rewarding experience.